Decrypting the UnDeCyPhErAbLe

Cypher's decryptions of the idiosyncrasies of living in Sydney, from a Malaysian-turned-Australian turncoat's point of view :P

Saturday, November 12, 2005


Hey guys! Blogspot has served me well, but I've decided to make an exodus to Blogsome now. Lately, I've been hit by spammers in my comments system, selling me everything from sex performance exhancers (no thanks :P), to immigration advice and what-nots. Plus, Blogspot doesn's have a Category feature, which I feel is a very nifty thing to have. So that's why I've decided to kiss Blogspot goodbye, and hello Blogsome! :)

You can get to my new blog through this link.

Long live the jellyfish then!!!

Monday, October 31, 2005

Great Friends = Priceless, Insincere Friends = Aplenty

Just a short message telling everybody to cherish your true friendships, for as you progress further in your life, you'll increasingly be surrounded by selfish, hypocritical ones who don't even have the balls to tell it like it is to your face. And trust me, this ain't a cliche.

Friday, October 28, 2005

Accounting Joke Heard in Lecture

Lol, heard this from my accounting lecturer, Mr Portelli. Odd guy, him. I must say, I didn't really like him at first. Thought he was a bit manic and at times, kinda irrelevant. But I think he sorta grew on me. He seems to be a very passionate lecturer, and he seems to just love being an accountant *gasps!* :) Anyway, he got a clapping farewell from us after his last lecture this Monday :)

Anyway, here's the joke:

There once was a business owner who was interviewing people for a division manager position. He decided to select the individual that could answer the question "how much is 2+2?"

The engineer pulled out his slide rule and shuffled it back and forth, and finally announced, "It lies between 3.98 and 4.02".

The mathematician said, "In two hours I can demonstrate it equals 4 with the following short proof."

The physicist declared, "It's in the magnitude of 1x101."

The logician paused for a long while and then said, "This problem is solvable."

The social worker said, "I don't know the answer, but I a glad that we discussed this important question."

The lawyer stated, "In the case of Svenson vs. the State, 2+2 was declared to be 4."

The trader asked, "Are you buying or selling?"

The accountant looked at the business owner, then got out of his chair, went to see if anyone was listening at the door and pulled the drapes. Then he returned to the business owner, leaned across the desk and said in a low voice, "What would you like it to be?" :D

Damn, still waiting to enrol in 'Company Embezzlement 101', 'Tax Evasion 102', and 'Insider Trading 103'.... :P

Monday, October 24, 2005

In Memory of Anty. R.I.P

Yesterday, while I was in the midst of my perpetual struggle against Finance, I blacked out.

Okok, not exactly, but I did become pretty brain-numb after that titanic struggle to understand archaic NPV crap. Banker I am not...

But I digress. So then I decided to take a short break from that confounded subject, and proceeded to check out what's on on the TV at 12:30 past midnight. Was hoping for some free-TV porn, but alas had to settle with some skimpily-dressed women enticing me to sign up for Initially thought it was some save the animals site, but it turned out to be an online dating/sex partner site. And I sat there thinking, "Why would any hot babes like her have to go on to sites like that to get laid? *ahem, I actually meant: To find her 'soul' partner*?" I think you would probably find more, *how shall I put it delicately*, 'realistic' looking ladies on sites like those than bombshells like her.

So while I was ogling at those women, I suddenly noticed a poor struggling big ant near the wall. After recalling the Buddha's teaching I read to sleep yesterday, I decided to help that unfortunate reincarnate of some fellow by helping it avoid a slow death by starvation. I took a piece of paper, and tried to flicked him onto it. Unfortunately, that nincompoop of an ant prefered to become SuperAnt and constantly tried to leap out of the paper.

Finally, I managed to keep Anty (let's call it that) on that sheet of paper by an ingenious method of gently tilting the paper whenever Anty was precariously hanging on one side of it. What a champ, this brain of mine... :)

So after kicking the door open with my feet, I happily whistled my way to the garden, which I was hoping would be Anty's new home. When I finally reached the place, I realised in horror that Anty was no where to be found! I became into an equivalent of an agitated monkey and proceeded to spin around furiously, looking for any signs of Anty. It was then that I suddenly heard a sickening 'crunch' under by rubber slippers... *Shit!!!*

I had murdered Anty. Nooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!

What a way to go. And so much for my Buddhist karmic points....

R.I.P Anty. You will be missed.

Namo Ammitabha

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Letter Published In The Star Education

Hahaha, I can now add this 1 cent's worth letter to my collection of published 'kaypoh' letters in The Star and Malaysiakini :) For this one, I was replying to some previous letters written by some students who weren't happy with Malaysia's inflexible streaming system in high school. For Australians, streaming is a kinda system where students, upon entering Form 4 (Year 9), are forced to choose between 'fixed' packages of subjects: Science stream: consisting of Biology, Chemistry, Physics, Additional Maths, Maths and other core subjects, while Arts/Commerce stream: consisting of subjects such as Commerce, Accouting Principles, Economics, Malay and English Literature, etc.

The other thing while I replied in the letter was the preplexing 'superiority complex' that some people in Malaysia: students, teachers, and parents alike, have regarding Science stream students, while the opposite is true for Arts/Commerce students. Weird, huh?

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Good PC Strategy Game, Anyone?

I need a new kickass, mentally-stimulating Real Time Strategy (RTS) PC game. I've been deprived of one since... since... actually, for donkey years now, come to think of it. I think the last RTS game that I was really into was Starcraft, actually. Sheesh, that's a bit sad, wouldn't you say? :P

Anyway, I was wondering whether anyone can recommend me a good RTS game? I've got Warcraft 3, and no offence to anyone who's a fan of it, but it just didn't do it for me, man. I mean, 99 unit cap, what the heck is that??? How can the game maker expect me to feel like an armchair general with that measly number of units? The other thing that didn't go down very well with me was it's graphics. I just don't dig it's bright cartoony style of graphics. And what's with that whole Role Playing Game (RPG) aspect of it? If I had wanted to play an RPG, I would have gotten an RPG game, and not a strategy one. Jeez... Now WC3 is hijacked by the DotA RPG mod, 'nuff said...

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Bright, blocky, and ultimately a hybrid between an RTS and an RPG game. Neither here nor there

Anyway, so WC3 was a dissapointment. Then my bro recommended to me Warhammer 40,000: Dawn of War. And yeah! That's more like it. It's a futuristic sci-fi strategy game that's based on the desktop game with the same name.

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What did I tell ya bout the graphics? Eye candy never looked this good! :P

Anyway, first impressions were that it looked stunning. And you can zoom in to insane levels! And heck, it also ran pretty well on my Pentium 4 2.25 GHz, 256 mb RAM, GeForce4 MX 440 64mb RAM system, considering how 'ancient' my system was. *Note to self: Need a RAM upgrade ASAP...* And so yeah, at least it had a generous unit cap. Cool factions (Space Marines, Chaos, Orks, Eldars, and now Imperial Guards), and did I say how great it looked? Heck, it's like an upgraded 3D Starcraft! :)

But alas, for me, there's a 'flaw' in DoW that kinda stops me from fully embracing it. It's just too offence-oriented for my taste. I'm more of a defensive kinda player. Because of the way how the resource gathering system is designed, players are discouraged from base-building, and are instead forced to just attack, attack, and attack.

But man oh man, yesterday, while browsing around, I came across this preview of something called 'Supreme Commander'. And gosh, I totally fell in love with it man! Can't wait to play it when it comes out next year!

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Check it out and drool...

It's also a sci-fi RTS game based in a mechanised, robotic conflict, and it promises to revolutionise the RTS genre once it's out. Why? Well, for starters, it's HUGE. Everything in it is BIG. The maps are like 4 times bigger than the maps in regular RTS games. Why's that? That's because it's units are based on a true scale. This means that there is gonna be huge spider-like bots that's gonna really be 20x bigger than the smaller regular mechs. And these smaller mechs can actually walk underneath those bigger mechs. Ditto with naval ships, jet planes, etc. So the map has to be big, to make sure that the armies don't meet each other too early in the game, which would then force them to just fight with their basic cheap units. The maker of SUPCOM wants to give people the chance to tech up, or rely on 'real' strategies to win, and not just massing units and rushing with them. But wait, this designer seems to be my kinda guy! :) He also hates the low unit caps in WC3 and such, and promises to provide HUGE numbers of units counts so that your armies actually looks like a proper army, and not some motley crew of 50+ characters...

Ahh, it seems that SUPCOM has everything I ever wanted in an RTS game. Pity it's only gonna be out late next year.

Till then, what great strategy games can you guys suggest that I get? :)

Friday, September 23, 2005

7 Memes!

Hell, don't even really know what all this is about! ;)

But anyway, since I got tagged by jon choo, here goes!

7 Things You Plan To Do Before You Die:

1. Get laid (duh!) :P
2. Own an Australian terrier (sooo cute!)
3. Go to the UK and Europe
4. Fall in love?
5. Watch at least a quarter of the "100 Movies You Must See Before You Die"
6. Meet up with my oooold primary school buddies again from SRK Stowell, BM and SK Sri Tebrau, JB to see how they've been
7. Work in a charity

7 Things I Could Do:

1. Start exercising again
2. Pick up chess again
3. Drink less coffee
4. Start honing my pick-up skills?
5. Learn Mandarin
6. Stop regretting past stuff (snap out of it!)
7. Watch The Exorcist, Schiender's List

7 Celebrity Crushes:

1. Elva Hsio
2. BoA Kwan
3. Kate Hudson
4. Lindsay Lohan(???)
5. Avril Lavinge
6. Seth's 1st girlfriend in The OC (the perky blondie)
7. Ryan's 2nd girlfriend in The OC (the bookworm cutie!)

7 Often Repeated Words:

1. Jeebes Christ!
2. Sh*t!
3. God damn it! (for a Buddhist, I seem to be using a lot of Christian stuff here...)
4. No lah...
5. Hi
6. No, I'm not Malay :)
7. Mother f**ker (reserved only for mortal enemies)

7 Traits I Look For In The Opposite Sex:

1. Instant chemistry?
2. Face (not a body kinda person, as long as it's presentable...)
3. Cute?
4. Off-beat personality
5. Sincerity
6. I'm a sucker for long-haired chicks
7. Fun to be with!

My 7 Tags Goes To:

1. Delwyn Lee aka infiDel
2. Dektos Loh
3. Jun Hoe
4. Baga
5. Yeng Yie
6. Rajan R
7. Bao